Ever get that feeling that you have too much stuff? Like things are too messy in your head by seeing all the stuff.
I know that right now this is all stemming from the fact that we have sold our home and moved into a small rental. I know that right now my life is in a bunch of boxes and totes. I know that when we were moving in I was wondering why I had a lot of the things that I do. What do I need it all for? It does not define me. I define me.
I think that when I was in my late 20's I felt like I needed stuff. We had a little extra dough, we were comfortable. I bought things. Not tons of things, but more than I ever had before. Like I had this desire to have things. I mean other people had things, why not me?
Some of it, I think, comes from my childhood, when we had very little. The things I did get then I cherished and never wanted them to be out of my sight. They were mine. I took great pride in them. But this buying thing that happened to me didn't give me the feeling that I got back then. When I had so little. Dont get me wrong. I liked the stuff I bought. It was nice or pretty or whatever, but the feeling of pride wasnt there. That feeling of pure simplicity hasn't shown itself in quite some time.
I have decided that I would like to have that feeling back. That pure, simple, unchaotic feeling. The decluttered feeling. The, I have to save and save for something feeling. There are times when I become impatient when there is something that I have decided that I want or even "need". This impatience goes against every grain of my frugality. It causes me to feel rushed or pressured to make a decision. Or pushes me to come up with some reason as to why I "need" it.
We moved in our rental about 1 month ago and since then I have decided that I am ready to let go of these things. These things that are causing me chaos and not filling me up. In fact, they tend to make me feel quite hollow. Like I could begin to lose sight of who I am behind all the stuff.
Not so much a resolution. I tend to make more lifestyle cleansing choices. If that makes sense. Choices that can affect my life in a positive ongoing way.
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